Same with the “you need to learn to forgive” bullshittery.
Anonymous said: chronic fatigue? please....
well.. since you asked nicely.. *sprinkles chronic fatigue fairy dust on you* congratulations! you now have one of the many chronic illnesses that kicks your ass so hard you can barely get out of bed in the morning! Have fun and count your spoons!
tumbledorepottamoose said: You are awesome! This blog is awesome!!! I'm not sure if I'm big enough to be considered fat (I'm a size 18) but I sure do feel fat and your blog is helping me feel not so out of place in the world. So thank you! Have a wonderful day/night/weekend/life!!!! <3
thank you so much! 18 is enough to have a hearty dose of body shaming and certainly other smaller people have way more privilege than you. Whether or not you want to consider yourself fat is up to you. I’m a size 22 and considered myself fat at a size 18 and a size 20 but that’s just me. I’m glad that you feel less out of place because you absolutely belong :) fat people aren’t a rarity and it’s time we stopped letting the minority push us around. Good luck and thank you for the ask!
Anonymous said: Wait I'm a U.S. Size 11 am I fat?
in my opinion? not really. at a size 11 you still have quite a lot of thin privilege. though there isn’t a clear line of when someone is fat and when someone isn’t, there IS a spectrum of privilege that goes along with someone’s size. a size 6 may have more thin privilege than you do, but you have a heck of a lot more thin privilege than someone of my size (size 22).
Anonymous said: Hey, love you! Will you share how you think the best way to talk to your kids about self-love is? Do you address how the world has a way of trying to shame and disgrace us if we do not fit a specific definition of "perfection"?
hey, of course! My son is 8 years old now and my first intro came in Kindergarten when they talked about black history month. I took the opportunity to also talk about gay rights. Then later, when Glee introduced a trans character, we talked about gender identity. then, that same year, when his PE teacher told him that halloween candy can make you fat? well…
I took the opportunity to talk to him about the physical reasons why I’m fat (genetics, thyroid disease, bipolar, etc) and talk to him about how people are all different- tying in previous conversations on human rights. I told him that some people don’t like fat people just for being fat. they think like his PE teacher- that we eat too much of certain foods. I said “do you eat more than mommy?” and he said “yes!” (which he does and he’s thin as a rail) and i said “and are you fat?” he replied “no”. and we continued to talk about how bodies are so complex and beautiful that it makes us all a little different.
I think self love comes pretty easily and pretty effectively when you talk to your kids about how great it is that everyone is different and when you teach them about prejudice. Firstly, they realize the bigger issues in the world and, secondly, they understand that sometimes people just aren’t fair and, at least with my little one, he cares less about what people think. My son has been bullied in school this year, but he’s always positive and always happy because we provide a safe and loving space for him. (on that note, we’ll be changing schools next year- hopefully to a better environment)
Practically speaking, I don’t have a scale, I teach him about nutrition as well as eating for pleasure, I’m positive about my own body (and my husband, though he has more self esteem issues than I do is also body positive around my son at all times). We give my son control over what he eats (within reason) and allow him to make choices (which is important in any part of childhood- not just when it comes to eating!)
Since then we’ve talked about racism in the justice system and police brutality, we’ve talked about sexism and feminism, we’ve talked about how people can be prejudice even if they don’t know it, we’ve talked about how trans women face greater incidences of violence, we’ve talked about classism and ableism and how some people expect you to be able to do things like them, but that we’re all different, etc etc. I think talking about fat issues is super easy when you see it as just another human rights issue. When he got older I even told him about how some people have told me they wanted to kill me.
We never told him there was a santa or an easter bunny (though he believed in the tooth fairy for a couple of years no matter what we told him). From day one we vowed never to lie to him (although when we tell him the truth, it’s done at age appropriate levels although our age appropriate levels are probably a bit more advanced than most kids’). he’s 8, not stupid, not inferior, and he deserves to know what’s going on in the world. It’s also imperative to me, as an activist and parent, for him to know that he has white male privilege and that it’s his job to actively work against that.
So, I guess my point is just to talk to your child like an equal and explain fat issues as openly and honestly as you can. It pays off.
shipmeofftoziamland said: Do you ever take a look at your choices and ask yourself why you're fat? Eat some vegetables instead of processed sugar and junk. Just because it's vegan does NOT mean it's healthy. You give veganism a bad name.
oh, I know why I’m fat. and it has nothing to do with food. I’ve restricted, I’ve starved myself (literally not eating for about two weeks at one point while popping diet pills), I’ve dieted and exercised, I’ve been a raw vegan. All while fat. You’re right that vegan doesn’t make something healthy. But veganism also is not about health- it’s about the well being of other living sentient beings. I give veganism a REAL name. I really and truly hope you never have to deal with multiple chronic illnesses that sap the life and energy out of you. I hope you never have to understand what severe fatigue comes along with it including not being able to cook the vast majority of the time. I do, however, hope you come to become more educated and compassionate and stop being a healthist, ableist, dick. Good luck with that.
You don’t have to explain yourself to this fuckwit…. Being fat does NOT give veganism a bad name. Vegans come in all shapes and sizes because veganism is more than just a diet, and anyone who only sees it as a diet doesn’t know enough about it to speak on it, so Shipmeoff loser needs to shut up and be shipped off. :)
you know.. you’re so right. I think we all fall into that trap of “no no, i tried to lose weight, really!”. the truth is that fat people are fat for a variety of reasons. skinny people are skinny for a variety of reasons. weight and health are both multi dimensional and complex and my body is not up for discussion (or it shouldn’t be). Thanks so much for the support.
ladygoss said: Just wanted to say I love the idea of your photo shoot! I totally reblogged I want tons of people to come out for your shoot. If your ever in Michigan I would love to come pose for you!
thanks! you can follow us on facebook too and i’ll post different destinations that i’m traveling to so that you can stay in the loop :) https://www.facebook.com/thefatartproject